Second Chances
by StaleCoffee
Summary: What would have happened if Jess had actually managed to get a few words in during his and Rory's phone conversation in Those Are Strings Pinnochio? This is my first fanfiction, so please review and critique...just don't be too brutal. Lit.


Disclaimer: I WISH I owned Gilmore Girls, but alas, I own nothing. tear tear

The phone had been ringing.

And ringing.

And ringing.

The sound was beginning to drive her crazy. Every beep was filling her head of bittersweet memories that tore her apart. Every buzz reminded her of how close they had been, how close they still were. Her phone was the source of the hurt, defeat, frustration, remembrance, love and every time it rang it destroyed her. Made her knees weak, made her brilliant blue eyes water, and preceded to twist her insides, particularly her brickle heart, now cracked in two pieces, ruined by a party, a bus ride, and information learned in a conversation with her mother.

And Rory wouldn't answer it. She couldn't answer it. It would beep and buzz every four hours or so and she just watched it from her desk, silent and unmoving. All would disappear around her, no matter where she was, and there she would be, quietly staring at her little piece of heaven and hell, her sanctuary in all the darkness, her jail cell in all the light. Then she would be jolted back by her mother with a concerned, but knowledgeable look on her face.

"Rory are you okay?"

"Yeah..." Rory turned her face away, to hide the single clinging tear to her cheek.

"You seemed a million miles away."

"I'm still here."She quickly wiped the tear away and turned back to her mother.

"Are you going to pick up-?"

"Can we get going to Al's Mom? I don't want to miss karaoke night. Kirk said he was going to sing Lady Marmalade..." She gave a short laugh to try to fool her mom into thinking she was alright.

"Okay hon." They both knew who was on the other line, so why bother trying to get Rory to admit it.

And now here, Rory stood, fully graduated from Chilton as Valedictorian, set to visit Europe for the summer with her mother, go to Yale University, and began her life as a woman. All she had to do was answer the phone. It was her last demanding task to complete. It rang after she finished talking to her grandparents and the ache that became so customary returned. Life disappeared around her again, leaving her in the peaceful white No Man's land.

She had to do it. If she didn't, she knew sooner or later it would stop ringing and that would be even worse. She at least needed closure, even if she wanted more. Forcing her hand to do the most difficult thing she felt it ever had to do, Rory picked up the phone. Her mom tilted her head at her a little, surprised. Rory hadn't noticed however, the world she knew so well had stopped existing through her eyes.

"_Hello? Hello?"_

All he had to do was talk to her. That was all she needed. However, the phone clicked and he was gone in the same instant he had returned. Gone...

"_A hang up?"_

Her mother's voice brought her back once more, caring and worried.

"_Yeah..."_

He was going to abandon her and their was no chance now for her to get him back.

"_You've been getting a lot of those lately..."_

Could she move on without him? Without one last call? She didn't think so...

Then the phone rang again.

She didn't hesitate this time. He was going to listen to what she had to say, even if all he did was breath on the other line. She picked up the phone.

"_Hello? Hello?"_

Nothing. But at least he hadn't hung up yet. She gave her mom a look and walked inside the school for some quiet.

"_Jess, is that you?"_

Her heart thrummed against her chest. This wasn't how it was going to be, she wouldn't let this be their ending. Him saying nothing on the phone while she begged him to. She didn't care if he had murdered someone and gone Hannibal Lector. He owed her a conversation, or at least a chance for her to talk. Without waiting any longer she continued.

"_Jess, I'm pretty sure it's you and I'm pretty sure you've been calling and not saying anything but wanna say something. Hello?" _

Still nothing...what the hell was wrong with him? Was she so unimportant in his eyes that a goodbye wasn't necessary? She had jeopardized so much for him, and now...tears stung her eyes but she controlled them for the time being. A slight anger fueled in her veins and even though it wasn't enough to extinguish her sorrow she let it satisfy her. He wasn't going to escape to easily this time.

"_You're not going to talk? Fine, I'll talk. You didn't handle things right at all. You could've talked to me. You could've told me that you were having trouble in school and weren't going to graduate, and that your dad had been there, but-" _

And then she heard his voice. For a split second she was peeved because he had interrupted her soon-to-be best rant, but then it became the most welcoming sound in the world. She listened closely to the only word he said, secretly relishing the comfort she felt within it, his usual laid-back and gravelly voice had always supported her . It was one of his most mesmerizing traits. Talk seemed to be precious to him, something not to be wasted, and Rory had always believed she was special because he shared it with her.

"Rory?"

She had a brief memory of once thinking on the bridge that day last year, discussing all things books and not eating a single thing out of the lunch basket he bid on, that she could listen to his voice forever, soothing as it was daring, teasing as it was serious.

"Rory?" Whoops. Reality struck her once more, and Rory reminded herself of all the terrible things he had done to her, if only to slightly regain composure.

"Jess?"

He was really still there...and the tension/silence between them echoed across the phone. She could feel it between them, subtle as an earthquake.

"Hi." What else COULD she say? Only moments before she had thought loosely of one last sentimental speech to finally bring among their parting. But now...

"Hi."

Their was so much to talk about: School, The Prom, Kyle's Party, Kyle's Bedroom, the fight with Dean, his father coming to town, his surprising leave for wherever he went after being kicked out...so much to say but so hard to start.

"You left."Her tone itself was harsh, but she hadn't known how else to began.

"I know." She waited for more. She could hear him struggling to talk over the phone. He had always had trouble saying things. But then he didn't. Every question had a mumbled response, every accusation a retort with twice the fire. Jess was the most complicated person she had ever known. He wasn't as easy to read as Dean and he never conveyed his emotions with his words. He used his tone and body language (mostly his dark eyes which would light up when he saw her, she could always tell no matter how well he tried to hide it) instead. It made him a complete and annoying mystery sometimes, but it also made him a complex and passionate adventure. Jess was a novel in itself.

"I'm sorry." He said it quietly and quickly, but it struck her, fading away the useless fury she held on to so greatly and returning the pain, the yearning for answers, and the deep and heartfelt feelings she still felt for him. Why bother to ignore it? Why bother to leave the conversation to worry? Why bother to fake how she felt...not just the disappointment of not going to The Prom or the sorrow she felt when she learned of his disappearance, but other things too, even more meaningful things. Things she had felt with no one else. She needed him to open up to her. She went for a more direct approach.

"Yeah, Jess, you know what? I'm sorry as well! I'm sorry I did whatever I did to drive you away so quickly that you didn't have to talk to me first. Perhaps I forced that car of yours to drive all they way to Wal-Mart when you were supposed to be going school? Or maybe I held a knife to you dad's throat and told him to meet you or die? Possibly I even stuck super glue to your stupid seat on the bus so that you couldn't get off. Though their would have to super glue on your mouth too, because you could at least have told me you were super-glued to your chair...it was all my fault! All my- "

"Knock it off Rory."Jess's voice sounded weak, he was still trying to act tough, but was faltering miserably.

"Not yet. I'm not finished. Did I mention sorry for asking you to go to The Prom with me, I know that must have been such a downer? A once in a lifetime experience, thank God I missed it! Oh and I'm sorry for not sleeping with you a Kyle's Party, with all those people crowded around downstairs! And don't forget my deep heartfelt apologizes for wishing you were back despite all this, you selfish, immature, rotten, stupid Dally Winston wannabe!"

The phone went dead quiet. For a second she thought he had hung up, but then noted his slightly ragged breathing on the other line. Rory heard a crash and looked behind her to note a girl emptying her locker looking a little bit frightened of her. Whoops..why had she said that? Not only had she begun to scare the few people around her, she also referred him to a pretty evil character who was shot many times by a police officer for robbing a store.

"_The Outsiders"_

"What?" She was shocked. This was a very different response to her harangue than she expected.

"Dally Winston. He was that crazy guy who got shot in _The Outsiders_, right?" His tone had regained calm. He almost seemed normal, but that couldn't be, Rory thought, she had just poured her very confused heart out to him.

"Uh, yeah."

"Sucked for him."

"Yeah it did." Where the hell was he going with this?

"Rory..."

"Um, what?"

"I love you."

Part of Rory, a very girly part of her, wanted to pull an Aquamarine and throw the phone as far as she could to avoid further discussion but still be able to savor his words. The other part of Rory, the one who had gotten into Chilton and didn't own talking starfish earrings, stopped breathing. And this wasn't just because he had told he loved her (though she couldn't believe that either!) no, it was because she knew no matter how far she threw the phone it wouldn't matter. His voice had echoed when he had said the big "it" and it hadn't echoed over the phone. It had echoed through the hallway.

He was standing a few feet behind her.

She turned around and stood up, snapping her phone shut and putting it in her pocket. Leaning casually against the lockers with his hands jammed in a pair of old, faded jeans and a maroon collared shirt, it looked like he was trying to clash with her graduation ceremony on purpose. Snapping his phone shut as well, and walked up to her. Rory struggled with words for a couple of seconds before mumbling the only thing that came to mind.

"When did you get a cellphone?"

"It's a long story."

"Okay." Think. Think. THINK! Breathe. Breathe. BREATHE! What was he DOING here? Had he seen her graduate? Had he come back...or was this just a painful visit? Did he really just say "I love you"? What was-

"Rory, I was a jerk, okay. You absolutely did nothing wrong. I was...upset and I didn't know what to do. I know I'm an idiot and that being impulsive really doesn't work for me, but I can't help it. I'm a jerk, that is what I am. And I know the bedroom thing was really, really sucky timing but I was just so...confused. I left because I didn't want to hurt you anymore but I can tell that by doing so that I've made it even worse. It is just...I failed you With school, The Prom, everything."

She forced herself into his eyes. Sorrow and guilt filled them, only battled with his usual intensity that made her believe that the Andrea Gail had been lost not at sea, but beneath his own eyelids. She knew more than ever that she loved him and wanted to be with him...but could she still? Would he repeat his actions? Could he possibly leave her in the future for a third time? Was he just going to be in and out of her life? She wouldn't allow it. He was in for the long run or he wasn't in at all.

"You didn't fail me by not graduating. We could have figured something out. You know, together? Your supposed to talk to your girlfriend, Jess. And as for Kyle's house, I knew something was wrong with you, I'm not stupid. I also know it wasn't about me not wanting to have sex there and then, but it was more about you. You an idiot Jess, but it was right for you to see your father. I just wish you hadn't left me or had to have gotten kicked out to do so in the process. I just...you hurt me. And although I think with time I can forgive you, how do I know you won't do it again? "

Suddenly Lorelai came back into the school. She took a step back at the sign of Jess and peered at Rory with a shocked "what the hell" look on her face.

"Um...honey is everything okay?" The concerned look on her face was back.

"Yeah Mom, can you give us a couple of minutes?"

"Yeah sure. Hi Jess." Lorelai's voice was slightly cold as she greeted her daughter's (ex?) boyfriend.

"Hey." Jess nodded his head in Lorelai's direction and then turned back to Rory.

Lorelai walked out, wondering what she had just walked in on.

Jess studied Rory's face, and she tried to look blank, but it was hard. He could read her like a book with bent pages. He understood how she felt, but never knew how to fix it.

"I meant it when I said I loved you."

"Oh really? I thought it was just for the big entrance."

"Rory, come on."

"Is this what you came back here for? A reconciliation? Because I can't guarantee one."

Jess breathed in deeply.

"I came back."

Rory glanced at the floor, contemplating. He had come back.

"But will you stay "back"? Or are we going to have a third-times-the-charm thing on our hands? Because no offense Jess, I'm not interested in-"

"Rory, do you love me?" The tension that had spread throughout their conversation had finally reached its peak.

What had been bubbling at the surface finally erupted. Rory had known the answer to this question for ages now, possibly the first time they had met, in her stuffy, book-filled bedroom, with a closed window and a promise that had whispered in the damp fall air. She loved him, and was sure he knew so, and she couldn't just let it go. Yes, he had made a lot of mistakes, even some he had repeated, but he loved her and wasn't their some saying related to that? She didn't care anymore. Maybe if he had stayed gone things would have changed eventually, but for now all she could think about was him, his eyes, his lips, his arms and everything about him.

He moved closer to her. A gust of cool air suddenly blew into the school and Rory felt a shiver pass through her body. Every slight move he made was bewitching and only when he slowly brushed his hand against hers did the spell break.

"Yes, I love you."

She had gazed right at him when she said it but in fear of the world exploding if his reaction was at all damaging she looked at the floor as quickly as possible for the follow-up. He gingerly rubbed her arm with his thumb and she felt electrified by the touch. How close was he? She was too afraid to tell. She had loved (what a wonderful word) saying those three words and the taste they left in her mouth was undescribable.

"Then I'll stay."

Her innocent eyes stared up at him and she couldn't shake the hazy impact he had on her. Everything blurred, between her reality and her fantasy. Was it possible that they could coexist in a world where lies breed like rabbits and love existed only in fairytales? Who really knew, but she was willing to give it a try. Love just did that to her.

Suddenly, all anxiety evaporated, she made the next step closer to him, and his hand moved down her arm and he lightly entwined his fingers with hers, only giving only a slight smirk at her surrender. She rolled her eyes. Out of all the magic tricks he had pulled throughout the years, this was definitely his biggest.

"You're a manipulator yourself, you know that?" At her teasing words a rare smile crossed his lips, which were coming dangerously close.

"Of course. It should be how a make a living," Closer. Closer.

"Well you know the pay would be good." She could feel his breath on her neck.

Sick of waiting, she gently gripped his shirt with one hand and pulled him in as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Her arms arched up on his shoulders and they kissed, the fire and ice burning between their lips, and she lavished the familiarity she felt within them, within his arms and within that smell of him...fresh and unpredictable. His hands explored her back (even though it was all known territory) and her hands pestered the few stray hairs on the back of his neck, he always forgot the gel when it came to the back of his neck. The kiss deepened and their tongues met midway, tasting each other. She slid her hands slowly down his chest before wrapping her arms fully around him. He ran his fingers slowly through her hair, with lips and body so closely pressed that a passerby shouted "get a room" at the top of his lungs.

Knowing that they were probably getting a little too PG-13 in the hallway she rested her hands on his shoulders lightly and softly bit his lip in the indication of wanting more but having to stop. They broke apart and acted a little childishly nervous around another, slightly embarrassed of their public scene.

Gaining composure, and with hands lightly entwined once more, she led him outside to search for her mom through the crowds of people leaving the ceremony for the parking lot.

"So you saw me graduate?"

"Yeah, I was in the back...I sorta snuck in. You were great though. And your speech was incredible. You could give Roosevelt a run for his money." Rory smiled up at him, and was a little surprised to see him looking sadly at the stage where she had stood only an hour before. She quickly stepped in front of him and grasping tightly to his hands, looked again into his eyes, with a flash of hurt and envy dashed across them. She had something he would never have, not unless he tried harder than ever ...a diploma.

"Jess, it will be okay. We will figure out a way...together. Like we should have in the first place."

He nodded and stared out at the stage again.

"We will find a way...together." She could hear him taste his own words.

"Yeah, it is a little new isn't it? Togetherness. Don't worry, you will get used to it eventually. It may even grow on you."

"Hey if it brings me more Leaving Las Vegas make-out sessions, I'm all in." Rory gave a short laugh at that and led him to where Lorelai patiently sat. Once she saw Rory and "what the hell" Jess she stood up and went toward them, curious eyes on Rory.

"So, everything is okay?"

Rory looked up thoughtfully at Jess, who looked back. Questions still needed answers and roles still needed to be fulfilled, but she knew they could make it if they tried hard enough. And although hard times were ahead she had never believed in anything more than she did now. The words "gut feeling" suddenly made perfect sense. She knew the answer to her mother's question.

"It's going to be." And it would.

And with her Mom going on in the background to Jess about a graduation party and whether or not he wanted to come, Rory knew her words were true. Jess may have been an idiot, but she was in love with that so-called idiot and together she knew his actions, whatever effects they had in store, could be fixed. Because that was what life about, wasn't it? Second chances.


End file.
